Sleep Training and Daycare
One of the biggest obstacles my clients face is what do when they send their little ones to daycare.
Whether they have already gotten their baby on a carefully planned nap schedule or they are planning on starting one, a problem obviously arises if their daycare provider does not follow that same schedule.
In the latter scenario, parents have a little bit more leeway, and I always suggest that they look around and try their best to find a daycare that follows at least a similar schedule as the one the parents are comfortable with.
After all, sleep is such a crucial element of your little one’s development, and their day to day life, that it should be a primary concern when you’re choosing where they’ll be spending their day, so I’m a huge advocate of shopping around until you find one that’s on the same page as you, nap-wise.
Unfortunately, there are a finite number of daycare providers in any given area, so that might not be an option. Or maybe your little one has already started going to daycare and they only put the kids down for one nap a day.
In this instance, the most important thing to do is communicate what you are okay with. Let them know that you have been working on a naptime schedule and ask if they can accommodate the times you have been working with. If they agree, great! Many daycares are happy to have a baby that sleeps a lot and are always happy to have one that goes to sleep easily. Champion sleepers are welcome everywhere they go!
It’s also important that you let them know if you’re alright with a little bit of crying while baby falls asleep, because if you don’t tell them otherwise, they’ll almost always soothe baby to sleep in one way or another as soon as they start to make some noise.
Some daycares, however, have a policy regarding crying, and will pick baby up and soothe them as soon as they start crying regardless of your instructions. This can be frustrating if you know your little one will fall asleep after 45 seconds of fussing, but if it’s the policy of the daycare, there’s not much you or the staff can do about it, so it’s best to just focus on how to minimize the effect they have on the program.
So, let the daycare providers know what you would prefer as far as “sleep props” go, and what you would prefer they avoid. If you have just broken a serious soother habit, tell them about it and ask that they avoid offering pacifiers. If babies got a strong association between rocking and falling asleep, ask that they soothe baby without picking her up. Again, most daycare providers are happy to make some arrangements with parents if it means a happy, sleeping baby and a happy, satisfied parent.
The good news is that babies are quite often able to distinguish, somewhat, between what happens at daycare and what happens at home, as far as sleep routines are concerned. They have an easier time realizing that, even though they might have gotten rocked to sleep in the one environment, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be getting the same treatment at home, so bear that in mind when you’re deciding how much diversion from the plan you’re willing to accept.
The other silver lining is that nap time sleep is not quite as deep and “high-quality” as nighttime sleep. The night is when baby really gets the good hours of rejuvenation and restorative effects of a solid snooze, so even though they might be missing out on some nap time, it’s not as bad as if they weren’t getting those hours at night.
I am not usually big on making exceptions to the rules, as routine is such an important part of a baby’s sleep, but sometimes you just have to shrug your shoulders and accept the reality of the situation. Work with your daycare, communicate your wishes and explain why it is important, and whatever they cannot accommodate, well… you might as well accept it. Another big thing your baby is most likely going to face is separation anxiety, which could easily be the cause of your champion sleeper to regress back to your mediocre sleeper. To help lessen this possibility, here are some tips to gently ease your baby into his new daytime environment:
- Make the transition gradual. On their first visit with daycare, stay with them the whole time. Do not make this more than one hour.
- Day 2: bring them to daycare and stay with them until they are comfortable. Then give them a kiss, tell them you will be back to get them after whatever activity they finish. Only leave them for 1 hour on this day.
- Day 3: Do the same as day 2 only this time it will be two hours you will leave them.
- Day 4: Same steps as previous days, however this visit will be three hours.
- Day 5: Same steps as previous days, this time will be five hours.
- Day 6: Same steps as previous days only this time they will have their nap at daycare. Waiting until this length of time gives your baby a chance to get comfortable with their caregivers and feel safe enough to fall asleep with them. This will help prevent the separation anxiety and create a positive association with daycare and they will look forward going.
However, if your baby is comfortable enough after the first day or two at daycare and they have no issues with being away from you put them in full time. No point hanging around if they are fine with it.
The one thing to keep in mind is sending them to daycare Is harder on parents than it is on your child. So, if you feel comfortable where they will be spending their day, they will feel comfortable with it.
