Mom Life and Mental Health

When you find out your expecting a baby, it is a whole new exciting chapter in your life. You may envision what you think he/she may look like (even though us moms hope that the baby will look like us), what kind of personality he/she may have, and you may even think about looking down upon that precious bundle in your arms sleeping peacefully, and feeling an immense amount love.

For most mothers, this is the case, but unfortunately, for some, the birth of a baby brings, what we all know is post- partum depression. What exactly is post-partum depression? Post-partum depression is a mood disorder that affects many women after childbirth. Mothers may experience feelings of extreme sadness, and anxiety, which can make it seem daunting to carry out the easiest daily activities. These can have significant consequences for mom and baby. Now if you are a first- time mom, you may be wondering what the signs and symptoms are to look out for, so here they are:

• Severe mood swings
• Intense irritability and anger
• Feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy
• Withdrawing from family and friends.

These feelings, on top of all the other changes you are experience just simply adjusting to your new baby can be extremely overwhelming. So, it is good to get a sleep plan in place for your baby from day one. Getting as much sleep as possible will help with the post-partum anxiety.

How do you know when it is time to seek professional help? When it gets to the point that you are having little to no control over your emotions and not sure what is going to happen next, is when it is time to seek outside help. This may mean starting a medication that will help wonders that is only short term.

What are the red flags that emotions shift after baby? If your emotions decline around the 8- week mark, that is when you should talk to a doctor. If your child is getting to an easier stage, but your feelings are not changing, not connecting with your baby, or your having feelings of suicide. Make sure you have a great support system when all these things are going on.

Women, in general feel like they must do everything. I mean we all watched our mothers, raise kids, while keeping a clean house, laundry done, and dinner always made. Well, guess what? Times have changed and you are not responsible for all that. So, the that brings me to my next point. How does a woman ask for help?

Just simply acknowledging that there is an issue is step one. Then figure out how it can change. Figure out with your partner, by telling him how you have been feeling and letting them know which task(s) they can do to help. Make sure you take five minutes for yourself every day, whatever that looks like. Just taking a bath, or shower, stepping outside, and even going for a walk. This will help you regain a bit of sanity in a time or turmoil.

Make sure you are spending time with people who build you up. Remove toxic people in your life. Even get some therapy just simply to vent. Sometimes it is easier to vent to a third party than it is to someone who is close to you. Get out and spend time with your friends, even if you do not feel like it. You are giving yourself a chance to feel like a person again, not just a mom, You will feel so much better after you do, after spending time with positive people that will help with you recovery.

Next, figure out what you can control, (laundry, cleaning, dishes) and what things you cannot control (mental health cannot wait). What stops us from dealing with depression is putting a guilt-trip on ourselves. You do not need to do this. This is where your spouse comes in (hopefully they are supportive). Delegate certain tasks for them to do, even if they do not do it as well as you do it. At least it is done.

Moms just know even though its hard it does not mean you are a failure. You can make things easier (make sure you incorporate exercise as part of your recovery plan). You can learn from every struggle. You will come out with a whole new set of skills. Never feel there is only one way out. You have people in your life whole love, support, and just want to help you. This struggle does not define you as weak, inadequate, or a failure. If anything, during this time you will learn how to effectively cope and learn a whole new set of skills in the process. In the end being a parent is an absolute blessing and is so incredibly rewarding. Even, if you do not feel it now, you will in time. Hang in there.