Crying
If you are anything like me, it is hard for you to listen to your baby cry. It is so easy to just jump the minute they make a sound. If we do not, we as parents often feel guilty as if we are not doing our parental duty.
Let me ask you this question. If your spouse or older child (if you have one) asks you to do something, do you respond immediately, or do you sometimes wait until you are done what you were busy doing in the first place before you respond? AAIAHHHAAA…I thought so! If you answered wait, then that is the right answer.
Crying is a baby’s only way to communicate. The reason they are calling out could be serious, but most of the time it is just because they need or want something. When they cry it is ok to let them be for a little bit before you respond. This teaches them an unbelievably valuable lesson – that they do not always need your help. This teaches them that they can soothe themselves until such time that mom or dad can come and get them.
This becomes frustrating when you feel you have answered the needs you felt needed to be met and they are still going strong. You’re thinking, “what else could this be?“
Well if you think about it, they just spent nine months in a nice, cozy, dark, protected cocoon where they are safe, get fed whenever they wanted, and are constantly being rocked into a nice and peaceful slumber. Then suddenly, they are ejected into this cold, loud, strange environment with everyone poking, prodding, dressing, undressing, and feeling different sensations that they have never experienced before. It takes time for them to get used to all of that, and some babies make it very known for months that they are not happy about it. So, they cry.
When this crying is ongoing and you’re frustrated, it is awfully hard to ignore it, so I am not going to recommend you try to. This will only increase your frustration. Try and be calm. Even if you must go to a different room to do this, do it. This will allow you to be able to read your babies cues and resolve the issue as to why they are crying.
Crying is natural. All babies do it. You should be concerned if your baby did not cry. Crying is good for babies, as It restores the baby’s chemical balance. So, when people say just let the baby cry, you should for a time. And hey, if you want to restore your chemical balance, have a good cry yourself. Then you and your baby will be reset to tackle what the problem was in the first place with a more balanced outlook. Always remember – the calmer you are, the calmer your baby will be.
Here are some wonderful resources for you to read:Here are some wonderful resources for you to read:
Magda Gerber’s books: Dear Parent: Caring For Infants With Respect and Your Self Confident Baby: How To Encourage Your Child’s Natural Abilities From The Very Start
CALMS A Guide to Soothing Your Baby by Contey and Takika
Aletha Solter: “What To Do When Your Baby Cries” and “Crying For Comfort – Distressed Babies Need To Be Held” from Aware Parenting
Patty Wipfler: “In Your Arms Crying Heals The Hurt” from Birthways Newsletter
