Knowing Where to Begin to Sleep Train: When to start sleep training and how to do it

Deciding whether or not to sleep train your baby can be a really big decision for a lot of new parents. This decision can take a while to make, but once you have made it the next question arises: How do I even begin? Where do I start?

• You want to make sure your baby is the right age to sleep train. The recommended age for sleep training is 4 months and up. Anything younger than that is called sleep shaping, and you would approach this a lot differently.
• You want to research the different methods that are commonly used for sleep training. I have a list of them on my blog you can refer to, or you can just google them. Choose more than one just in case your baby doesn’t respond well to one. Then you have another one to fall back on. If you are not sure which one is right for you choose the one that relates best for your situation.
• For example: If your baby has only co-slept and has been put to sleep by you with either bottle, breast, or rocking, you’re going to want to choose a method where you’re in the room with them which is “the chair” method. If your baby is sleeping in their crib, and is rocked or breastfed to sleep, and/or relies on a pacifier then the “leave and check” will be the one to use. If you have a newborn baby (0-3 mos) and you want to start creating healthy sleep habits right from the get-go, this is called sleep shaping, and you’ll want to use the pickup put down method. Please note that the pick- up and put down method is generally for newborns and does not work well for babies older than three months.
• You are going to want to watch your baby’s day. What time do they wake up? How long are their naps, and how many are they taking each day? You want to have them wake up at the same time each day and go to bed roughly around the same time each night. So, if your baby isn’t going to bed for the night until 9 or 10 pm, you’ll need to reset them. Babies get their best quality of sleep before midnight, and a baby having a later bedtime has been known to have more false starts, and night wakings than babies who are put down between 7:00-8:00 pm. Here is what a sample daily schedule of a 6-month-old:

Wake: 7:30 am
Nap 1: 10:00-11:30 am
Lunch: 12:00 pm
Nap: 2: 2:30-4:00 pm
Dinner: 6:00 pm
Last bottle: 6:30 pm
Bedtime: 7:00 pm

Of course this won’t always happen like clock work as babies naps do not last the same length each day so bedtime will be adjusted according to when their last nap ends. So no matter what time baby goes down for the night always wake them at the same time each morning so their body will reset to waking at this time. Do this the day leading up to the night you start sleep training.

• Create a bedtime routine if you do not already have one. This lets your baby know that bedtime is close by. For example: Bottle/Breastfeed, Bath, Story, Sleep Sack, White noise, then Bed.
• Make sure their sleeping area is dark, you have a sleep sack, and you have some sort of white noise machine. This drowns out any sounds from outside or noises and voices in the house during naps and night sleep.
• Finally, the first 2 or 3 nights you start sleep training, you’re going to want the non-primary caregiver to do these nights. The reason being that if one of the sleep props is breastfeeding to sleep, well dad doesn’t have breasts and will not expect to be nursed to sleep by him. Also, babies kick up less of a fuss if dad takes over for the first few nights. If you are on your own, then it will be you. Stay strong, calm, and consistent. Baby is looking to you to make sure that this new way of going to sleep is ok, and if you’re calm, baby will be calm and will catch on faster than if you’re stressed and unsure and inconsistent.

Do not start this process if you know you will not be able to stay on the course. Stopping and starting is very confusing to a baby so once you have started just stay the course. I have faith in you. I have done this with my kids five times over, so if I can do this, you can do this…. If you feel like you need 1:1 support before starting, please reach out so we can see if we would be a good fit to work together and get your little one on the road to better sleep.